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10th November 2015

“What If I don’t like it?”

“What If I’m laughed at?”

“I might be rejected..”

“I might feel anxious.”

“What if I’m not good enough?”

We live in a crazy ole world which at times seems hell bent on making life as comfortable as possible for us humans. You would be forgiven for thinking “what’s wrong with that?” Especially when you feel anxious or stressed, you just want life to feel easier than it is so you relax and rest.

I believe that our obsession with comfort, ease and feeling positive feelings has quite the downside which explains the continual rise in anxiety, stress and mental health related issues. 

We are becoming less resilient and emotionally agile at dealing with life and the normal ups and downs we need to grow and flourish as people. Comfort zones are getting smaller, lives are feeling more limited and resentment is growing at what is being lost.The mind can brilliantly trick people using fear or procrastination into avoiding what would enrich their lives for the better in favour of a “safer” life.  And whilst you judge how rubbish your life has become your mind can remind you how much “safer” and “comfortable” you are instead.

It’s vital you start taking steps to build up your resiliency and emotional agility. Negative emotions are crucial for our development and quality of life. You can start small and get better and better with some time, goal setting and commitment to becoming stronger.

Top ways to develop Resiliency

You can learn to change situations to fear into a challenge with a bit of mind management training Learning to reframe difficult situations as a challenge to be explored is just one of the ways you  can really help your mindset.

Start trusting yourself by sticking to your goals and commitments in various areas of life such as health, relationships, social life and career.  Being a flakey person and not sticking to your commitments just enforces concepts of low self esteem. Start with small goals and challenge yourself to complete them regardless of how your mind will try and trick you to not bother and just give up.  This I can help increase your sense of self and wellbeing which will only get stronger and stronger as time goes on.

Learn to manage your stress and anxiety in situations which could cause discomfort. Developing a stronger sense of confidence in your ability to handle negative emotions is liberating as what can hold you back in life if you can handle how you feel?

Try new things! A good example is eating the same old familiar comfort food. Try something  different and get used to the possibility of not liking something as it could end up with you really liking something new.

Remind yourself of the times you overcame difficult obstacles and issues in the past. They have helped you grow, gain wisdom, get creative, motivate you and guide you in life. Denying yourself the risk of discomfort will rob your life if the energy it needs to flourish.

If you don’t bother developing your resiliency then there is the strong possibility that you will retreat from life and those who do bother will simply experience and take from you in life what could have been yours. It sounds harsh but you really do have a choice and not be tricked by your mind into avoiding life and finding it harder as time continues.

What do you risk losing if you keep trying to be comfortable?

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