I’m not Good Enough
6th August 2012
“Phew I’m tired..maybe I should slow down, I wish this run was over, I don’t think I can do this, how long is left to go?” My first run after a few weeks break is always a tough one and my negative thoughts inner dialogue can go a little crazy. It likes to speed up and get louder so I act now on what it says.
But why should I?
Thoughts are just thoughts…they are not even real so why believe what they say?
The problem most people have is that they believe their thoughts are real and just because they think it, the thought must be true.
This time I took a deep breath and became aware of the “I can’t do it story.” By being the observer of the story forming in my mind about being tired etc I realised something quite amazing. I wasn’t actually tired at all. I scanned my body when I stepped back from the “tired” story and discovered my body was more than ok and actually could go a lot faster which I did. I laughed to myself that the thoughts forming about being tired and not being able to do it were just a story and a lot further from the truth than it seemed. The mind can give up a long time before the body needs to.
Another example is when I am working with a challenging client. My mind will pop up thoughts with the theme of “You are not good enough.” This could make me feel bad about myself and cause me to think about looking for another career. Life feels pretty rubbish if you get caught up in the “not good enough” story.
If you indulge in that too much life itself doesn’t seem good enough which can lead to anxiety and depression. By being an observer of the “You are not good enough” story a bit more often you get a sense of being empowered to choose how to use that thought. I could just let it go, believe it or use it to my advantage somehow. After all, it is just a thought, I have thousands of them a day telling all sorts of stories. I am a thinking machine and no amount of mind work will stop me thinking. I have to be dead for that to happen. I don’t bother to try and control thoughts, they come and go like traffic on the road outside. I can pay attention to some of that traffic and use those vehicles to move forward if I want to. I use this story to get more creative with clients, so for me becoming aware of the “I’m not good enough story,” forming benefits me greatly. If I were free of negative thoughts I would be all the poorer for it.
Learn to become aware of the thoughts you believe are true. By being the observer of that story forming and not believing it what could you choose to do differently instead?