14th March 2012
The anxious voice starts getting louder in your head, then faster, more panicky and more urgent.
It’s creating dialogue about what people are thinking about you. It’s future predictions of things going horribly wrong make you feel sick so you will do everything you can to avoid that happening. It makes your head spin as it doesn’t seem to stop your mind being in overdrive.
You try to think rationally and calmly, even questioning is the stuff you think about true? But it soon jumps back to being loud and forceful convincing you it’s all true as it is determined to protect you from the dangers around you.
The voice in your head doesn’t stop there, it will make you stronger, more productive, get you to stop being lazy, lose that weight and get those goals reached by being your worst enemy, by being your critic. Tough love is your subconscious belief and it will kick your ass until you do as it commands.
Tightness in the chest, sickness in the stomach, tension in the shoulders and knots in all three. Your mind is determined to keep you ready and alert or danger, getting ready to fight or flight.
Many will relate to the above and there is something important to realise that can help you change this forever.
YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT!
You are important….but not so important that it’s all about you.
Working on this issue can reduce anxiety, stress, anger and depression quite considerably. I have seen clients become different people overnight as they realise they have become too important and began the process of letting it go.
So important they couldn’t possibly have anything bad happen to their overly precious lives. They have become so serious that life is seen in such a dark and dangerous way. For some this is just in various areas such as socially, relationships or in work, but for others this is in all areas.
If you want to be like a ‘normal’ person (well what we think is normal) then you have to realise and work on a few things.
You are not that important and like everyone else you can and will cope with anything negative that happens in your life. In fact you could take advantage of any negativity and use it to make your life wealthier in many areas. This is a skill you can learn in therapy with me.
When you become too important you are becoming too internalised which means you are making it all about you. Anything happening around you is about you apparently, despite people not even probably thinking much about you, you are creating a whole script of what they are thinking. You are making it all up to protect yourself as you don’t believe you could handle it if someone actually does something to make you feel bad about yourself. Best if you do it before they do, at least you are in control then.
You need to learn to become more externalised to experience the world around you without reflecting it back inside and given extra meaning. To be honest most people around you are not that interested. When you walk into a social situation it is time to notice what is happening around you and not to make up what people are thinking about you. You really are not that important. They are lost in their own worlds and if they are thinking anything about you then it’s their perception and nothing to do with you.
Therapy can help this process and also get to roots of what is causing you to think the world is so dangerous that you don’t feel safe.
Safe is all you want to feel, that will never happen if you live on red alert scanning for illusionary danger.
Life is too short to live a life like this and if this issue affects you then please contact me for help and advice.
I specialise in stress, anxiety, panic, anger, confidence and self esteem issues using a combination of counselling, hypnotherapy, EFT, NLP, IEMT and MET in my office in Hove or online via Skype. Plenty of tools to deal with the stuff which holds you back in life.