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Anxiety and the flake

22nd December 2010

Are you a flake or do you have flaky friends?

Anxiety is a growing problem in the Brighton and due to the amount of clients in the past few years suffering with anxiety I have noticed a few patterns one of which is the subject of this blog.

A section of people suffering with anxiety are flakes.

The term flake not only refers to a chocolate bar which just fall apart when trying to eat it, but also refers to a behaviour pattern which can feed anxiety.  If you are experiencing anxiety or a rough time in life and identify with the flaky behaviour listed below then think about changing this part of your life as the benefits are enormous.

Flakes are people who are in general:


Very, very, very busy

Don’t tend to arrive on time and terrible with time management

Drama magnets and creators

Seem to attract bad luck

Won’t commit to much just in case something better comes along

Elaborate liars

Often knackered and drained which can lead to more illness than usual

Moaners and often despite claims of being positive easily snap due to their negative views of life

Flakes also send out messages unconsciously which can tell people:

They can’t be trusted

There is something wrong with them

They can’t commit despite their promises

The mind loves a path to follow, a destination and a way to get there.  The mind hates uncertainty and there is nothing more uncertain than a flaky life.  The lies, the drama, the fear of not being in the right place or doing the right thing, the drama, the stress from being overly busy just puts pressure on the mind which over time will have consequences and can lead to depression.

The language of a flake is a dead giveaway as its non committal so watch out for:



Could be

It’s about

I think

I will try

Going with the flow

And anything else that literally casts doubts over what is being said or promised.  There is a huge difference between “I will do” and “I will try”.  It’s understandable why people are flaky as the pressure of commitment can create anxiety which then creates the flaky behaviour.  Working on anxiety, fears of commitment or what is causing procrastination can help end the flaky behaviour.

Non Flakes are:


More confident

Able to see clearly with their clarity

Calmer and more relaxed




Telling us that there is something right about them


So what can you do?

First of all, start becoming aware of any flaky non committal language and change it to something more solid

Commit to doing things regardless of what might come along that may be better

Learn time management skills and be on time

Start dropping the drama from your life and moving away from others who create it

Take some time out to chill and relax as this helps your mind heal, drop the guilt from not being productive as relaxing is the most productive activity for your mind

Focus on what you want to experience more of in your future and create plans and small steps to help get you there. Without a strategy or making the goal too huge your mind will procrastinate

Therapy and mind coaching can help you start disciplining your mind to be more solid and also help you create a balance with flexibility and commitment working in harmony together.  Anxiety really can be transformed when certainty is part of your life in a more productive way.

If you would like to have a chat about anything in my blogs which resonates with you then please contact me through my website and I will look forward to hearing from you.